OK people. Most of you know me and know that I am a student of religion. I study as much as I can about as many religions as I can in order to understand the whole deal better.
Now, that being said, I have hit upon some hard times lately and I don't have cable. In fact I have rabbit ears, which many of you born in the late '80's would have no idea about. Anyway, I only get a like 7 stations and one of those is EWTN (Eternal Word Television Network) a product of the Holy Roman Catholic Church.
To give you some back ground, I was born and raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school from 6th to 8th grade and, for the most part, I love the Church for it's history, tradition, and pageantry. Yes I know that it is propagating a fallacy, but you know what, that's OK by me. Most people blow them off when they get really out of line.
Anyway, I was watching this priest tonight who sounded a lot like Sean Connery. This guy went through the ten commandments (fifteen commandments if you have seen History of the World) and sure enough he got to the 6th commandment... Thou shall not commit adultery. And in true off the wall fashion, he included "impure thoughts" masturbation, and of course pre-marital sex as adultery. Guilty, guilty, and guilty. Now, my flock, these are "MORTAL SINS" which pretty much means if you ever saw a hot chick and said "Wow she's hot." or ever beat you meat, or ever shtoinked some chica you are pretty much going to hell unless you go and tell some 40year old virgin about it, ask for forgiveness, and say 30 Hail Mary's.
I can't even imagine that this ideology is still around. I mean, how ridiculous. To think that a natural human characteristic is a sin is baffling to me. This is the kind of shit that pisses me off. Granted, Catholics never tried to blow me up with an IED but this is still some shit I don't need. I've done enough bad stuff in my life (thank you Kirk and 7-11) that I don't need some jerk telling me I'm going to hell for slapping my salami.
I thought this shit was over, man. But to give the audience credit, when this priest was going off about this, they were pretty much frozen in their seats, not knowing how to react to such nonsense. Yet the "beat" goes on. And I assure you, having once gone over 30 days without any... outlet, for my sinful ways, you don't want a world full of pissed off and horny guys roaming the streets, 'cuz somebody is getting their ass kicked... people get shot like that. Am I off on this or what?
The Hollow Man
Proudly defiling himself since 1989
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2 comments:
Kirk is the MAN!!! I guess if what the priest says is true, I'll see you in hell my friend.
Keep loving the Catholic church. I don't buy that for a second, that that is what will put you in hell.
Sounds as if that priest is doing his own interpretation.
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