Ok, so here's the deal... the Rockies are going to the World Series and they are THE hottest tickets in town. That being said most of the people fighting it out to be one of the elect to see them play have not been to a Rockies game in the recent past, nor did they know the names of more than one or two players before this fiasco started.
Don't get me wrong. I am very excited for the rockies. I actually have gone to a few games in the past and have enjoyed myself every time (almost). I myself could only name two players before all this too. But I'm not out in LoDo hootin' and hollerin' about how much I love the Rockies and how they are "my boys... WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Now I don't care that this sudden Rockies mania has hit Denver like a ton of bricks, but I have seen this before.
When the Avs came to town they were winning Stanley Cups left and right and Denver, which had only seen the minor-league Grizzlies many many years ago, all of a sudden became this amazing hockey town. Games were sold out, everybody was an expert (Even though I had to explain what a two-line pass was to the idiot next to me at the game who was screaming about how the refs sucked), and the jerseys could be seen on the street from infants to elderly.
Then they started to suck and there went the Jerseys. Now as most of you know I can't stand the Avs so that is all fine and dandy with me but I happen to like the Rockies and I don't want to see the same thing happen although I know it will. If the Rockies don't do well next year people will be like "Torrial-who?" and "Kaz Mats-whaty?"
But whatever. While everybody is busy wearing Rockies shirts (newly bought I might add) to work and school, I will continue to wear my normal clothes, listen to the games on the radio, and avoid LoDo at all costs on game days. And as for the day when the Rockies win the pennant will be safe in my, middle-class, white bread neighborhood while the looters, vandals, and pyromaniacs destroy downtown. It's a Colorado thing... When one of our teams wins a championship we must show our zeal by fucking up our city. What can I say?
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
the smart gun
Well, apparently I missed an amazing technological advancement. Apparently not only do we have smart bombs but smart guns. Let me tell you about them.
This morning a man in Philly carried a smart gun up to two armored car guards and the gun stuck itself up underneath the guard's vest and pulled it's trigger. It then shot the other guard point blank range and a third guard who was in the truck. The guy who was with the gun then took all the money and escaped. I'll be damned. Who knew guns were so smart?
So the chief of police of course comes out and says guns are the problem. We have way too many of these guns on the street, rabble rousing and drinking gun oil by the gallon.
YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
I've got a dick and it doesn't make me a rapist. I've got a gun too and I've never killed anybody with it. It is apparently the gun's fault that his shitty city is falling apart and crime is rampant. Who do you blame for the burglaries, rapes, and assaults? Who's fault is that Chief? You piece of shit! Just like Ray Ray Nagin blaming everybody else for his failures. I guarantee there are more guns per capita in any random Wyoming city than Philly and you don't see that kind of shit going on.
It's not the guns people. I can take a loaded gun, set it on the table pointed center mass in my chest, insult it, make fun of its mother, spit on it and that fucking thing will not shoot me. I promise. It doesn't take a gun to commit murder people, it takes a murderer. I have yet to have anybody give me a legitimate argument for gun control. You think you got one... try me.
This morning a man in Philly carried a smart gun up to two armored car guards and the gun stuck itself up underneath the guard's vest and pulled it's trigger. It then shot the other guard point blank range and a third guard who was in the truck. The guy who was with the gun then took all the money and escaped. I'll be damned. Who knew guns were so smart?
So the chief of police of course comes out and says guns are the problem. We have way too many of these guns on the street, rabble rousing and drinking gun oil by the gallon.
YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
I've got a dick and it doesn't make me a rapist. I've got a gun too and I've never killed anybody with it. It is apparently the gun's fault that his shitty city is falling apart and crime is rampant. Who do you blame for the burglaries, rapes, and assaults? Who's fault is that Chief? You piece of shit! Just like Ray Ray Nagin blaming everybody else for his failures. I guarantee there are more guns per capita in any random Wyoming city than Philly and you don't see that kind of shit going on.
It's not the guns people. I can take a loaded gun, set it on the table pointed center mass in my chest, insult it, make fun of its mother, spit on it and that fucking thing will not shoot me. I promise. It doesn't take a gun to commit murder people, it takes a murderer. I have yet to have anybody give me a legitimate argument for gun control. You think you got one... try me.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
hugging, titties, and taxes
Well as if further evidence was needed that our society sucks, a middle school in Illinois has now banned hugging. According to the principal, Victoria Sharts (Insert Gloria Ironbox), "Hugging is really more appropriate for airports or for family reunions than passing and seeing each other every few minutes in the halls."
Gloria, excuse me, Victoria further went on to say that another pitfall of hugging is when "The hug is either unwanted or becomes inappropriate as judged by one of the students involved." So as opposed to teaching kids how to deal with uncomfortable situations and teaching them how to get themselves out of it, enter the school (insert government) to bail them out and shelter them from all evil. Don't worry sir, we only want to put cameras everywhere to keep you safe.
So now along with tobacco, guns, and drugs, we have "hug free" school zones. By God, excuse me... By the deity of your choice if you choose, there will be no hugging.
I think I have the real reason though. When one participates in the barbaric and often uncomfortable act of hugging, one must put their arms out to wrap around the other person. By doing that, even ever so briefly, their arms are out in a T-shape, thereby making a cross, so we can then postulate that hugging is a Christian thing (That we do at airports and family reunions) and being that this is a public school, we can have no mix of church and state. Make sense? Good.
As some of you may have heard, Elton john is in some hot water over a photo he owns by the famous photographer Nan Goldin that was being shown in an art gallery in England. It has two girls in it who are nude and apparently, this photo that has been published around the world, was deemed pornographic by some government peon or another, and was confiscated to see just how pornographic it is.
So as I was reading about this I found sites where people could chime in and give their thoughts. Almost 100% of the time when it was somebody from Europe posting a comment they said, "So what's the big deal" and if they were from America, land of the hug-free school zone, they said, in a nutshell, "get a rope". I have been to 14 countries now in my short life and I have seen a lot of people and cultures, and none is more repressed and sexually frustrated than the US., minus publicly in the Middle East of course but let me tell you, some of the raunchiest porn I ever saw was Iraqi porn.
Even there however you would see kids running naked in the streets, not because they didn't have clothes but because it was 135 friggen degrees. But it was no big deal there. When I was a little kid we could run naked in our yard and nobody would care. Now the SS, also known as child protective services, would throw me in a home and arrest my parents.
I think however I have the reason for that as well. America is the absolute fattest country in the world so I suppose it makes sense to start teaching our kids very young that nudity is bad and that we should all hide behind moo-moos and XXXL sweatshirts. And why hug anyway when it takes actual effort to raise those ham hock arms and most likely you wont be able to fit the arms around the other person anyway. Maybe that was it. Perhaps they did want the obese kids' feelings to be hurt by only a half hug from a friend who arms couldn't quite make it.
I don't know, but what I do know is that our country won't allow hugs in school, titties hanging out in public, raising your kid as how you see fit (no spanking please), and we have to pay taxes several times over on everything we make, buy, sell, and earn in order to live here. God bless America!
Gloria, excuse me, Victoria further went on to say that another pitfall of hugging is when "The hug is either unwanted or becomes inappropriate as judged by one of the students involved." So as opposed to teaching kids how to deal with uncomfortable situations and teaching them how to get themselves out of it, enter the school (insert government) to bail them out and shelter them from all evil. Don't worry sir, we only want to put cameras everywhere to keep you safe.
So now along with tobacco, guns, and drugs, we have "hug free" school zones. By God, excuse me... By the deity of your choice if you choose, there will be no hugging.
I think I have the real reason though. When one participates in the barbaric and often uncomfortable act of hugging, one must put their arms out to wrap around the other person. By doing that, even ever so briefly, their arms are out in a T-shape, thereby making a cross, so we can then postulate that hugging is a Christian thing (That we do at airports and family reunions) and being that this is a public school, we can have no mix of church and state. Make sense? Good.
As some of you may have heard, Elton john is in some hot water over a photo he owns by the famous photographer Nan Goldin that was being shown in an art gallery in England. It has two girls in it who are nude and apparently, this photo that has been published around the world, was deemed pornographic by some government peon or another, and was confiscated to see just how pornographic it is.
So as I was reading about this I found sites where people could chime in and give their thoughts. Almost 100% of the time when it was somebody from Europe posting a comment they said, "So what's the big deal" and if they were from America, land of the hug-free school zone, they said, in a nutshell, "get a rope". I have been to 14 countries now in my short life and I have seen a lot of people and cultures, and none is more repressed and sexually frustrated than the US., minus publicly in the Middle East of course but let me tell you, some of the raunchiest porn I ever saw was Iraqi porn.
Even there however you would see kids running naked in the streets, not because they didn't have clothes but because it was 135 friggen degrees. But it was no big deal there. When I was a little kid we could run naked in our yard and nobody would care. Now the SS, also known as child protective services, would throw me in a home and arrest my parents.
I think however I have the reason for that as well. America is the absolute fattest country in the world so I suppose it makes sense to start teaching our kids very young that nudity is bad and that we should all hide behind moo-moos and XXXL sweatshirts. And why hug anyway when it takes actual effort to raise those ham hock arms and most likely you wont be able to fit the arms around the other person anyway. Maybe that was it. Perhaps they did want the obese kids' feelings to be hurt by only a half hug from a friend who arms couldn't quite make it.
I don't know, but what I do know is that our country won't allow hugs in school, titties hanging out in public, raising your kid as how you see fit (no spanking please), and we have to pay taxes several times over on everything we make, buy, sell, and earn in order to live here. God bless America!
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